happiness is not in my part :)

I wait and wait, yet I never thought that even after all that time, I will meet the same fate as the times before. Never before have I experienced something like this, and now that I have, I'm not sure what to do with it.

I'm trying to be as normal as possible, but I can not bear what is about to happen. I've been trying to make myself think this through but I'm so very much unable to.

I am trying to be simple, trying to rationalize myself. It's so hard yet so plain, I'm so damn tried of over-thinking everything. I'm thinking it over and over again. My mind knows that nothing can happen now, my why does my heart still have hope?

It's easy to say that this is an unfair farewell. I can't stand the thoughts of what little happened yet so much went in vein. It stressed my so much just cause you cared, unlike anyone I've ever known, I thought you were here to stay.

I have heard that we have arrived alone, we will leave alone so why not be alone all our life? I don't think I have a choice. I try not to be one of those clingy girls but I don't understand if this was bound to happen then why on Earth was I made to fall for you?

Time and place and the people were right but the time that was coming was nothing but wrong.

Now I feel that everything in nature is against me. I dare ask myself, do I not deserve to be happy? Is not my right to have happiness after years and years of misery?

I wish I could forget but I can never, not even if I tried. You were different from all the rest and now we have to say goodbye?

Unfair it so, truly so. I was afraid that a day like would come, but never had I expected it to come so soon.