happiness is not in my part :)

I wait and wait, yet I never thought that even after all that time, I will meet the same fate as the times before. Never before have I experienced something like this, and now that I have, I'm not sure what to do with it.

I'm trying to be as normal as possible, but I can not bear what is about to happen. I've been trying to make myself think this through but I'm so very much unable to.

I am trying to be simple, trying to rationalize myself. It's so hard yet so plain, I'm so damn tried of over-thinking everything. I'm thinking it over and over again. My mind knows that nothing can happen now, my why does my heart still have hope?

It's easy to say that this is an unfair farewell. I can't stand the thoughts of what little happened yet so much went in vein. It stressed my so much just cause you cared, unlike anyone I've ever known, I thought you were here to stay.

I have heard that we have arrived alone, we will leave alone so why not be alone all our life? I don't think I have a choice. I try not to be one of those clingy girls but I don't understand if this was bound to happen then why on Earth was I made to fall for you?

Time and place and the people were right but the time that was coming was nothing but wrong.

Now I feel that everything in nature is against me. I dare ask myself, do I not deserve to be happy? Is not my right to have happiness after years and years of misery?

I wish I could forget but I can never, not even if I tried. You were different from all the rest and now we have to say goodbye?

Unfair it so, truly so. I was afraid that a day like would come, but never had I expected it to come so soon.

anything you want...

I miss you so much. I think I'm losing my mind and myself. I am willing to surrender my soul to you if you are the devil. I can't stop and wait and breathe and not think about you. Every time I close my eyes, you appear to me. I'm lost in you. I can't even control my soul.

Is it not strange for me to let my mind wonder into it's depths while it thinks about you while you don't even see me as I am? I try to always be noticed but you never see me as someone you might like. It's weird and vague and somewhat unrecognizable and unrealizable to you that maybe I'm head over heels but it did ever occur to you, that you are the reason that I am this way?

You are like a poison that runs though my veins and makes me feverish and so cold, all at the same time. You make me so high, with your innocently devilish smile.

I wish I could come right out and say it but I can never know what might your reaction be. So for this very same reason, I guess, I will have to hold my peace. I want to be the one you'd love to see, every day and every night. I wish you to be that only one near me.

I will surrender and I will do all, to please you in every way. You know I can do it all.

You hurt me so much. It's painful but the pain is so sensual. I love the wat you make me dizzy and spin my head around. It's difficult to understand but I'm all yours. You are my personal devil and I'm your play-toy. I'd love for you to make me crazy and make me wild. It's not just my mind but my body agrees, when I say that you always....always turn up the heat.

If you ever ignore, it makes me want you even more. I'm so addicted to you. You're too contagious to me. I'm so locked up, I don't have no where to go.

Everyone says that you're not good for me but I'm to close to get back. It's so confusing and I'm tripping over myself. I don't know what to do but I'm sure that I'd love to do something, anything that involves you.

I've never felt this way. I've never been so crazy. It's a whole new genre of emotions and feelings. I've never felt so happy and intrigued.

I can be good or bad. I can be an angel or a naughty devil. I can be the light or the darkness that surrounds you. I can be the angel of love or even of death. I'll be what you want me to be. I can do anything to please you. I can be anything or anyone you want me to

venimeuse :D

Without you I'm A river without water
A water without it's oxygen
A mountain without it's bird
A bird without a wing
Without you
I'm A day without the sun
A night without moon
A sky without stars
I'm a sea without it's wave
A wind without a blow
A flower without it's roots
Without you
I'm A soul without a spirit
Abody without it's shadow
A pure light which is going dim
Without you I'm
A tree without its leafs
A leaf which loosing it's coulor
A coulor which is fading
Without you I'm
a human witout sense
A human without emotions
An emotion which can't be described
Without you I'm
a sadness with no happenies
without youI'm
happenies which is meaningless
I'm a thing which worth nothing
Without you I'm
me but a me Without pourpose
Without you I'm a life which want an end 

my need for survival

Every night is the same for me. Every night, I toss and turn and I am unable to sleep. I wake up every fifteen minutes, feeling so tired, yet I don't feel the urge of sleep. I change my position at least a thousand times each night but nothing is useful. I still suffer from this never ending pain caused by the seven sins.

The pain is every morning somewhat healed, as I wake up to the sweet songs of the birds. I wake up and smile to myself, in hopes that today might be different. However, each day I'm disappointed greatly, yet I still do not understand my feelings. I've been hurt so many times, so, how did I find the courage within me, to hope again? I'm left confused by all this and so much more. I do not understand even myself. I do not understand, what do I want or what do I need?

I try to isolate my being but the world doesn't allow it for to happen. It drags me back with promises of a better perspective. Even I astonish myself, with how easily I am fooled by all this nonsense, all this garbage and all this misfortune.

I feel so suffocated by all that is around me. I feel the urge to run away or walk out on everything I know of. It is a dream that can never come true. I'm far too attached with the lies that I hold.

I'm trapped within my soul, unable to break the locks. I have the keys but no courage to open these gates of my heart and mind. I am stuck from within.

I try to find out the answers inside me but I am unable to. I want to know how I survived for so long without you. I want to know how to be different. I want to know what you saw in me.

These answers I want to know but the most important question to me by me is will I survive? If so, for how long?

I am not afraid of my death. I am, however afraid of how my death will be taken by the rest? Will they cry? Will they rejoice? Will I be remembered? Will I be forgotten?

These questions haunt my very being. I do not know what my purpose is in this world but I feel that I might not be able to find out.

Until then I shall survive, believe in all those who believed in me. I will find it in my heart and soul, mind and body, spirit and karma. I will find it in myself. I will find my need to survive.

I may not be the most important person in this world but somewhere, someone is always thinking of me, praying for me, and hoping for my betterment. For that someone, I will survive.

kiss of death

Never will I forget, the pain and misery you caused me. My life was thrown off balance because you decided to happen to me.

Was it enough to watch me go down in flames? Was it enough to know that you were the reason behind all that pain? Was it enough to know that everything I fought for was in the end for nothing and could never be? Was it enough to break me down just see how I rose from my ashes?

I still don't understand, how could you be so cold? I was never pushed this far to break. I never were the best person in this world, but I do know one thing, that never did I deserve this.

I couldn't help myself but now I can see so clearly. You chewed me up every day and every night, but I loved you for everything that you stood for. Now I can see, that all those were lies and you never were or could be anything worth fighting for.

You made me blind and you made my head curve around the reality of your persona. I was never given a chance to take a step back and see the situation for what it really was. I was never given an opportunity to recognize you for the fraud that you are.

You kisses of death killed me for last time. It's about time that you got to know how it feels to be killed every day, only to be reborn every night. I was awake, yet in deep slumber, for I could not see, what was killing me.

You may hide behind the eyes which seem so innocent, it's a tragedy, that no one sees so clearly. You betrayed, you lied, you cheated and now you apologize as if nothing ever happened.

You maybe a higher power now, but I'll ask what becomes of you in years to come. You will fall to you death, from the peak of you egoistic mind. It will be the end, but your's will be long-lasting.

Your kisses of death have inflicted horror upon my being, though, not anymore. I'm complete from within. I'm satisfied with who I am, I don't need you to tell me so.

Song of a Bleeding Heart

I was raised to tame a heart,

A heart that have bled from the start,

And to erase all it’s the suffering,

Even though it means to me nothing. 

As for each heart I have tamed,

Love it the one to be blamed,

But I accidentally learned how to love,

Love that will make me sacrifice everything that I have above.

Then I loved a boy but didn’t last,

Coz he only loves someone from his  past,

I was so stoned yet I let him go,

Because he will be happy that’s all I know.

But I realized that there was a heart that I could never tame,

A heart that was enlisted in my name,

It started to bled and tore apart,

Then everything made sense from the very start.

But as my wounds deepen,

I realized that everything could happen,

Then everything came to passing,

Then my heart starts singing.

“Moving on along the mountains and the hills,

Gives my heart a painful and a piercing chill,

But it was just the beginning,

The beginning of a never ending.

A never ending love and joy,

Things that no one could destroy,

The pleasures of moving on,

Is the only thing that my heart is hanging on.”

But then I started to cry,

Wishing if I could just die,

Die in stillness and silence,

But my heart only needs love’s presence.

But my heart isn’t ready to die,

Coz it know that someone will cry,

Yet it decides to move on,

And sing a thousand songs of a bleeding heart.

Untouchable

i forever will be a shadow of the past and a figment who stays in the background, never to take the center stage in a picture of memories.
I am myself for myself and for nobody else.

I'm not afraid to face a bit of danger. I want to be there through the storms and I prefer to face it all alone. I won't bow and I won't fall. I'll stand strong through it all. Without you at my side, I'll be brave enough to fight.

I won't run away from this dark night. I'm able to defend myself when I need to. I'm there for myself when no one was to be found. I'll be there for me til the end of times.

Is it still too late for you to see? I'm a enchanted and unchartered land, untouched by the sea. I'm a world inside an island. I'm a universe inside my planet. It's not so hard to believe, that someone like me, is as untouched as a person could ever be.

My intelligence, nor beauty may surpass anyone, yet, I know and believe in my heart, that I am the way I'm supposed to be. I might not be the one who grabs all the attention and I might not be the one who leaves everyone star struck.

Even when the lights go out, I keep my composure. I never let anyone come any where near me. I don't fear people, I fear how people can be.

I'm not an object to be obtained. I'm a myth to be desired. Never to be touched or seen but believed to exist even when all logic screams otherwise.

My heart belongs no none, yet many have wasted their's on me. I'm a fairy, who's magic is for no on to see. Deep inside the dark forest, on the highest branch of the tallest tree, I reside. I wait for someone who would be brave enough to climb.

Deep inside a forest, I've been hidden from the world. I'm seen by all, touched by none. I'm alone in this world, for I have made my image to mislead the people.

The believe I am the sinner, yet they don't know who or what I even am. I'm a body so pure, I have an aura so clean. I'm something that's rare and endangered. They want me, to make me like everyone else. I'm what doesn't exist. I'm what they want to kill and destroy.

I mislead them and let them come into my existence, and just when they think they can have me, I move in to destroy them. I'm dangerous to meddle with. I'm a prodigy.

I won't become a victim of this corrupt world. 

what sould you do ?

when we watched helplessly as our dreams melt away
then all at once colors and sounds starts to fade away
when the autumn leaves untimely yellow and starts to fall
then you start to realize that everything is running out of time

when life lost it directions , there's no protection
when thoughts switch to darkness , there's no reflection
when you tricked by the lies , there's no explanation
when you see fake people, there's no prevention

when the system goes on blink and leaves you with sorrow
do you still think that there's something you could do?
do you think you'll know which direction you need to follow?
when every road seems the same no matter where you go

is there any reason for you to keep breathing?
when there is no guarantee that things we'll get better
is there any shoulder out there to keep you from falling?
when you feel so breakable and nothing makes you feel better

egos

My body, soul, mind and heart, all beat and speak alone. Never am I high or low. I'm always stuck in the middle. I have never one emotion inside myself.

I can love and hate at the same time.
My greatest since is lust, yet my body and soul is chaste and celibate.
My greed overpowers me, yet I can never take anything that doesn't belong to me.
Vanity is my obsession, yet I love the beauty that shines from within when I feel alive.

Love and hate are not so different from one another. Each has been inflicted with pain to cause this desire. I can easily be both and none at the same time. Emotions reel me in and tell me how to be.

My emotions control me in the worst ways possible. I'm ruled by them and I can't resist.

I can satisfy and I can destroy anyone in one single night. Turning out the lights and blowing away the flames, I can make any kind of fantasy he desires and turn myself into his worst nightmare.

I would give anything to be accepted but I could never change myself to fit in. I'm caught between fire and ice within me. My soul and heart, mind and body, spirit and strength, all scream things unlike anything ever I've ever heard, seen or believed.

I would love to be loved, yet the force of hate drives me to ambition. I'm afraid to love but I'm courageous enough to live. I'm broken inside, yet I'm whole and complete without anyone.

I can give pain wrapped in pleasure. I'm a victim of my own crimes. My heart is broken in a thousand pieces but each piece has a beat of it's own.

I can make each encounter a show, a meeting and a party altogether. I can present each sin as a virtue and each painful memory as a pleasured feeling.

I can can one bend to my wills. I can make and break anyone who crosses my path. I am never aware of what I have done until the task is complete. My alter egos keep me from ever knowing.

I'm bound within myself. I'm locked away and I hold the keys close to me.

My life is tangled within my heart. I'm unable to unfold nor reveal to myself where this all might lead to.

I am the seven sins and the seven virtues all together. However, I feel no burden in being so many others. I'm myself all the time, yet I have faces that no one could ever recognize.

Distance

My hearts so lost
I wanna cry
I long to see
That love in your eye
But the distance is
The keeper of time
Not often together
With your arms in mine.
The distance becomes
Silence so loud
Feeling lonely
Within a crowd.
No morning words
To enrich the day
No means of longing
That reach my way
I reach first
I receive a reply
The spark has faded
I don't know why
Barely a sun rise
Always a sun fall
I finally get
That sweet call,
Sadly by then
It's too late
Finer came first
I had to wait.

How I Became an EMO GIRL

Do think that you know what it means to be emo? sure, you know that emo kids cut themselves, but do you know why? are you emo? is your friend?

Emo is short for emotional; and no, not all emo people cut themselves, but i do.

The first time that i cut myself was when i was 15. I felt alone, unwanted, under-appreciated, hurt, depressed, and sad. i was always made fun of, my family could care less. everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. When i was younger, i had everything. i was smart, popular, preppy, and beautiful. it wasn't until later when the cliques, groups, and scenes emerged, that i fell off my pedistool. the change was drastic. at first, i was one of the most respected people in the school, neighborhood, and in my family, but as my experience of life increased, my popularity decreased.....and before i knew it, the number of my friends started to dwindle, the relationship with my family started to fade, and my grades were slipping. everything that i had was gone in an instant. my life sucked!

i was hurting all the time, i was alone and i was always crying, and most of the time for no reason. one day when i came home from school, i saw a knife laying on the counter. i picked it up, and stared at its blade. all of these emotions flew threw me, and i blindly started cutting myself. I didn't realizewhat i had done until i was drenched in my own blood. After the cuts stopped bleeding, i counted all 12 lacerations. i felt satisfied. i had discovered the only pain that i could control. and every time i was upset, i would cut my self. Weapon of choice......kitchen knife, but when i didn't have access to one, i would use scissors, broken glass, razor blades, exacto knife, anything i could find.

this continued on for about years, until one of sweetest friend came in my life.he didn't know about the 210 more that were safely hidden beneath my clothing but he tried his best to stop me and now after 1 year the same friend made me mad to this extent.i am back to my self. now my life is fucked up!

I'm okay with that.

f**k love :@

I'm a human with feelings,
I can cry like the rest,
I have bruises that are healing,
and I deserve myself a rest.

I'm not sure how to say it,
but I think we go too far,
we drag each other in it,
and we make of it a war.

We all get hurt in times like these,
even when you cannot tell,
but a human soul can break down peace,
and can get to where it seems like hell.

And when we fight each other off,
we wonder how it all started,
we don't know why we act so tough,
and why the friendships have been parted.

But don't you see what words can do?
That we humans all can feel,
it can split us into two,
and it takes time for us to heal..!!

end!!

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

p/s : sometimes lyrics can be the same as our life.

love ka the end
i dont wanna see love again in my life..!!!

hmmpppffff x-(

Sometimes I wonder if you truly know me
If you know that I’m really not that phony
That whatever you do, many will judge you
Whether it’s false or completely true

It’s human nature to point the finger
And blame the world for your raging anger
Then a moment of silence comes along
It brings awareness to the place you belong

Our Home is not within these walls
It’s not this Earth or what others recall
And our bodies are merely divine temples
For our Souls to look through our pupils

We might choose a Happy ending
Even if many will find it offending
But we can’t keep living for others’ Happiness
You’ve got to remember our true sacred oneness

DO IT NOW

I had times where I suffered a lot, and
I’ve been hurt and I cried all throughout.
I never realized, “what if I’ve done it right?”
“Could it be that my life was bright?”

I’ve been using this given time, given by God.
Not mentioning that half of it I never thanked Him.
I was blessed to experience the beauty of the earth,
If not I would have been really hurt.

Elementary and high school didn’t go what I expected,
It became the stage for me to hurdle the unexpected.
I don’t want to do this, but this is what it’s supposed to be.
I’ll be playing the lead role in my sphere.

The things I’ve done when I was young,
Most were nonsense and bad for the tongue.
It was He, that made me realize about it,
And changed me for the person who I am now.

I’ve become somebody who is trustworthy and happy,
Not the other who always gossips and blabby.
I had learn how to love, LOVE the person who deserves it,
Not the one who gives it to a dimwit.

I admit my faults in the past few years,
And I have learned a lot from my fears.
Never try to control the person inside of you,
Or else, this control will grow inside of you.

It’s too late to regret what I’ve done,
Time is running out and no more fun.
Challenges and hurdles are now coming to an end.
I’m already getting on, this words I’ll send…

…do it now !!

unknown

We start as an unknown person…
We became close because of fate..
Then we became friends..
Suddenly it has changes..
I not sure what…
But what I am sure is..
It became something more than friend..
We know each other in a short while..
But in a short while our feeling is develop..
Develop to something new..
Something more than what we thought..
I am not sure for u..
But for me it is so memorable..
Do you feel like what I feel..
Or it is just me that feel like that…
In this life, anything can happen..
When I am alone..
Suddenly you came in my life..
You bring me light after I am gloom..
You are my hope..
You are one of the best things happen in my life..
I do not regret for knowing you..
Because I know you are there when I need you…

soul

A rhythm danced in the mist of a soul,
spilled in the strains of classical melancholy,
slowly groove in a thin crystal.

The soul howl camouflaged by
the man in the mask with his gibberish head,
petrified with the top of his lung.

A scream sewed air with air,
embroidered wind with wind
The scream deafened soul,
as well as men deafened rain.

Somehow, somewhere ...
the rhythm found the way
to the scream on the way.

Let me say this:
indeed, they collided;
debating, denying, disputing.
They shouted the air
loud until there's no loud anymore.

They crawled the days to come.

The trees still looked far far away when
the man dragged his feet to shade then
stretched out on sturdy stems but old,
stared at the lonely hawk passed by
near the man with the lullaby.

Oh... soul, be a lighthouse
stands still, stands still,
don't move, be the light.
Be the way to the sailor of the night

Oh... soul, holds the shriek tight,
relieves the night. In the dark,
Let the man be a shark
in silence.

together :)

Talking to empty walls
On the loneliest day
Of my life.
Speaking of distance pasts
And times long gone by…
I found my savior
In the form of a loveless boy
On a rainy day
When I didn't really have much to say.
Save me when I'm losing
Catch me when I fall.
Heal me when I'm dying.
Be there through it all.
And I met a boy
With the dullest dead grey eyes
On the loneliest
Day of my life…
Talking…
To my empty walls
And to colorless places
And dreams I haven't let go.
Whispering words
That taint the pure halls
Driving me into the blackest of moods.
Save me when I'm losing,
Catch me when I fall.
Heal me when I'm dying..
Be there through it all.
Talk when I get lonely,
Sing me into sleep…
Tell me a story,
Read me a tale.
Just be there for me…
Together we can't fail…

lost art

SONG OF MY HEART

staring at your eyes
finding happiness in this world
here my soul melting with your flame
and never again move to another heart

looking at your sweet smile
giving me spirit in life
to you i feel i am home
your love like the air i breath

and when our hearts bound
has already completed my journey
then jail me forever in your heart
in never ending warm love of yours

will you give me try?
to convince for what i feel for you
i want you to know deep down inside
i love you without any reason why!

‎(Divine Oceans)

There are no excuses any more
I’m no more hiding my amour
I can’t explain what I feel
Or why it feels so surreal

It’s the first time I fall in love
You caught my heart like a dove
And I didn’t know until I left
I flew away like a magic theft

Tears came running down my cheeks
Cause we are miles away to speak
And now that you’re with someone else
I want to be your dream princess

We always want what we can’t have
And once we’re conquered by this love
We’re tortured by our own emotions
Until we surrender to divine oceans

i stand here..!!

I stand here,
Alone,
Waiting...
For what?
Seems there's no hope.
I still stand.
Stand my ground.
But against what?
Staring at the ground.
Waiting for the least excitement.
Something supernatural.
Anything more.
More than the lonely feeling.
Nothing.
Seems there's nothing more,
Than the Wind,
The Dark,
And I.

for ma bestie :)

I’m sorry that I let you down
But no matter what
I can’t make you happy
You just won’t let me
You say you’re okie
Though I know your
Dyeing in side
I try to help
But once more
You put that
Wall up. You close me
Out then slit me apart
You tell me I’m beautiful
Then I’m not worth your
Time but where best
Friends we’ve known another
For 1 year and 4 months now so why cant
You let me in? You know all my
Secrets and I have many yet
You only tell me so little about
Your pain why can’t I help?
Don’t you know I love you?
I would do anything
To see you smile even on rainy days
(To my best friend )

sometimes....

sometimes...

i thought i heard your voice..

but it was the birds singing

sometimes...

i thought i saw you walking on the beach..

but it was the shadows of the leaves waving

sometimes...

i thought my left hand is your hand..

but it was only me holding firm to my fingers...

sometimes...

i thought the whispers are from you...

but it was the wind touching my ears...

sometimes...

i thought i felt your tears..

but it was the rain showering me from the sky...

sometimes.......

i hope i never met you....

because the sweetnesses of the memories,

never make my eyes dry...

and sometimes in my heart...

i know that i was still missing you 
♥♪ ᶆєОɯ ♪♥

are you thinking about shonz?

Are you thinking about shonz 

cause last night she had a dream

About you and she said it was so real

For one second she saw you and you were so near

shonz says she felt you close

So she was blushing

red were her checks and nose

But you were so mature and kind

So you portended at that moment that you are blind

You told her to build up trust, and to open a new page

of an old book and clean the dust

Because an old story is about to become new and begin

Two sides are about to become one and turn everything in

You told her to keep this between you and her

Because its only going to be all about her

You are going to do everything to keep her happy

And fight throw every thing hard and trapy

Don't leave because this dream is what's keeping her alive

And believing that one day she could be your wife

destiny :)

No one may guess how much you mean to me,
The way I portray moments of ever treasured past,
I close my eyes imagining reality enwrapped in dream
And hold my breath but heart keeps beating so fast.
Hot blood runs rapidly through strained veins,
My head is spinning like I`m chasing after butterfly,
Exhausted heart looks a fragile vase broken in twain
But I`ve no salty tears and power to cry.
I miss you like the sandy dunes still pine over the rain,
I`m overwhelmed with poignant fears and despair,
It seems my body`s shackled by the ever strongest chain
That I can hardly breathe and gasp for gulp of crystal air.
I love your fingertips, the way they slide all over by body,
I love the way you look half-naked, awaken out of sleep,
I read your eyes as if conducting some important study,
No need to say my love is infinite and like a river deep.
I missed the midnight train staying at the empty station,
I tried to find your smile in the faces of the leaving crowd,
You couldn`t come but I succumbed to the temptation
To challenge destiny and be the happiest from this out.

(Crossroads)

I miss you even though you’re here
I can hear your voice loud and clear
But I know you’re about to leave again
Cause that’s the way it’s always been

I talk to you as if you never leave
I build my dreams out of pure belief
I walk the streets looking for a sign
For someone to say I’ll soon be fine

There’s always a feeling of emptiness
That always leaves me so breathless
It takes over the moment you go
And it takes a while to release and let go

But then you’re back once again
And I praise the lord, I say Amen
But deep inside I know it’s temporary
And that’s a burden that I have to carry

You realize you mean the world to me
And I make it look like it’s so easy
I do it all so you won’t feel my pain
But all the pressure is driving me insane

We’re stuck at a crossroad for years now
And the scene won’t end until we take a bow
But who has the courage to initiate
Is a whole new chapter that has to wait.

‎(Taken for Granted)

Do you see, there’s a mighty ghost in me
Can you tell, which is Heaven, which is Hell
You surrendered your heart like an actor in a play
Now words can’t describe what I want to say

How does it feel to be taken for granted
To be pushed around, so fooled, so blinded
To be ripped off from freedom of choice
Cause you believed they were your own true voice

She said, “I never stopped loving you”
I just thought I knew what’s best for you
I wanted to protect you from your own saboteur
And keep your heart untouched and pure

Now I loathe myself for doing this to you
I was a ‘know it all’ like some sort of guru
Would you find it in your heart to forgive my mistake?
So I’d forgive myself and ease away the heartache!

suffering...!!!

I have this illness
that I've suffered from for so long
and I don't know how
but I've got to find a way to stay strong,
I wish I could get over it really quick
because it's making me go insane
and it hurts when people pick
It just causes so much pain
I just wish I could stay strong
It really bothers me
because I don't know what's wrong
I'm telling myself not to cry
but it's so hard to try
there's got to be a way for me to stay strong

As the days go by
I feel worse and worse
so many things have gone wrong
and it's just so hard to stay strong
I've got to cry
so as the tears run down my eyes
I realized I don't have the strength
to stay strong...

tired...!!!

I’m tired....

I'm tired of dreaming of
dreams that don’t come true.

I am tired of people who lie especially,
the one’s who say they don’t.

I'm sick, and tired that I can't stop these tears that I cry.
I wish the pain, and the suffering would go away.

Don’t they see me, Faking the laugher
when I feel some kind of emptiness.

They like to play this stupid ugly game
When, I feel my life is all a mess.

I want to be alone..........

When life.....
My life, has so much more then difficultly,
when I am this way.....

I'm tired of the feeling I cant trust others,
and myself can’t be trusted as well.

I'm really tired.......

I tired of not seeing a brand new day! !

change :)

I tell myself that everything's going to be ok,
that there is no reason for all this pain.
The time it took to change, the time it took to
see all those mistakes.
The life I had, I can't have back. The choices I made,
affected me in all those ways.

The mistakes I made have not been forgotten.
The tears I shed, the sounds I made, the feelings
that left me feeling in a different way.
Yet I can't see why these tears feel so unreal.
I'm not the same, my words are unsaid.
What I hide, is buried deep inside.

I'm not fake, I'm not a doll,
I just don't think I'm the same in any way.
So where did my soul go?
Why did I ever let it runaway?
What happened to that girl?

The one that could make you laugh,
the one that would always take you out?
What happened to that girl,
cuz I'm lost without her?
I'm no longer me, the mistakes changed me,
but did they change her?
If only I would know.

....

She is always prepared for any battle

Waiting for her Master's whistle

Carrying her shield and armor

Fighting like a true warrior

She is proud to say, She is still winning

Those sleepless nights were all amazing

He knows that she had been anticipating

and that she had done everything

She has a strong heart

Ready to share it to a counterpart

But woe! For once let it rest

Place it into the very deepest

For everything that she have gone through

Is this the exchange you will put her through?

A bright future that could last

But a love, a love, you cannot grasp

Off you go, leaving her a scar

A beautiful woman that was once your star

Guiding to keep you sane

Beside you through all your pain

Adieu, Adieu, as she sees your back

Beautiful memories that flashbacked

A glimpse of tomorrow is ahead

But a past, a past that you both once shed

thinking of yew...

► Thinking of you today what great joy you bring,
You're so beautiful like a fresh Tulip in spring.
Oh What warmth you bring my heart,
Miss you so much when we are apart.

I think of you every night and day,
Would like to be with you now if there was a way!
Oh how my heart aches when I cannot see you,
Tears roll down my cheeks like morning dew.

Winter has passed and spring has arrived,
Two months of your LOVE have I been deprived.
Missing your presence in every way,
I LOVE YOU so much what more can I say.

Though these days our eyes do not meet,
Thinking of you still makes my heart beat.
Far you may be like a lost fallen feather,
But close are our heats will always be together.

Times are hard now but soon it will pass,
Then I will be able to see you again at last.
Everything then will be as smooth as butter,
You and I will have our "Happily ever after!"

Thinking of you what great joy you bring,
Your smile like the warm sunshine in spring. ◄
♥♪ ᶆєОɯ ♪♥

the one road

Pain is the visitor whos is hiding
Behind the gift of happiness
I'm living in a world of wilderness
Where there is no place for weakness
My only wish is to have a true friend
To be always next to me, not behind
To sit together upon this sand
To sing the song of the happy land
To help me whenever, i ask for a hand
this is a dream, being lonely is my end
I ve found out that my life is just a small shadow
It is a long raod that is narrow
It is like a widow who lives in constant sorrow
The first time i saw it i was crying
People around me were smiling
At that time i did not know that its The One Road am taking
What is my destiny? This is the only question am asking.

DESTINY OF TWO TRUE LOVERS

The snow started to melt 
Cause the sun started to rise majesty,

Nothing will forever last,
Even the coldness of sorrow one day will disappear easily,

The lost town in the wonderlands
Could be reached now safely,

There the lady of heart made of his Love
Waiting for him year after year patently,

Will he be brave enough to defeat
Everything keeping them apart so harshly?

Will he win over the evil
That is separating them so badly?

& she's still dreaming of him to warp her
With the happiness of his strong arms tenderly,

After two decades, she lost hope
Tears became her dear friends never left her lonely,

That night she watched the stars
She didn't sleep her heart was beating foolishly,

Suddenly a knock on the door
Was it a dream, imagination or reality,

She used to keep the door
Open to let him in directly,

The beloved face is here years didn't leave their trace
On those eyes looking at her lovingly,

Earth becomes heaven, tears of happiness
Melted two true lovers till eternity.

E V E R Y D A Y

Everyday with this new sun,
Everyday with ever changing sky,
Everyday from memories alive,
I take new memory of thy.

Everyday the sun rises,
Reminding precious moments of time,
But now it seems excited to set over,
Like my love summoned by dark light.

And this ever changing sky,
Looks like betraying me,
Though its nature to change,
It stands still,
With black cloud on its field.

It seems like nature against me,
With rays of sun which protest,
Weakens my bone it rest,
And the sky blocking the ray,
The ray which is of my hope,
The only hope which I get EVERYDAY.

.... :'(

you took my hand and held it tight

your warm kisses helped me fall asleep at night.

i can still imagine that warm smile on your face

now you're gone and i can't seem to find my place.



tell me why i still miss you

everything we had and all we've been through.

if it was love then you'd still be here with me

but you're gone this is the way it should be...

it's time to get you off my mind.



but i can hardly breathe

when you walk right passed me.

feel my face flush, i'm staring at the ground.

and i moved on to someone new

why am i wishing he was you?

i've got to let you go...

still my heart's just saying no.



the days are starting to get cold

your notes are tearing and the corners start to fold.

do you ever still look down my way

wondering if there's anything left to say?



tell me why i still miss you

everything we had and all we've been through.

if it was love then you'd still be here with me

but you're gone this is the way it should be...

i need to get you off my mind.
♥♪ ᶆєОɯ ♪♥